Boris Johnson and his unfeasibly large testicles

This happened a couple of weeks ago, and is now completely overshadowed by what could be deemed Fucking Liargate (a high Ianuccian farce that deserves its own post). But it remains interesting because it straddles the boundaries between politics and social media, and it’s worth flagging up still, because of the upcoming London Mayoral Elections on the 3rd May 2012. And so… 

Boris Johnson

With the kind of audacity, nay arrogance, favoured by empowered incumbents, Boris Johnson didst hijack the official Mayor of London’s Twitter account for his own re-election campaign.

Johnson (or, if we’re being incredibly kind, his campaign team) switched the account name from @MayorofLondon to @BorisJohnson, immediately transferring over 253,000 followers to Johnson’s campaign. The .gov link to the City Hall website was also changed to promote his personal campaign site.

After all, why bother fighting a hard social campaign to build a new following around a new Twitter account, when you can just steal everyone already following the mayor? Targets smashed, let’s go down the pub.

As if this wasn’t enough, the defence of his actions makes the act itself seem almost meek. A campaign spokesman for Johnson said that the decision to change the account name back to Boris Johnson had been done “in the interests of transparency” (a direct quote).

As he entered the campaign he was determined to ensure there was no confusion between him as mayor and him as a candidate, and therefore changed the name of his Twitter account. He did not expect this openness and honesty to have created such hysteria.

Incredibly, the egregious, clandestine and mendacious act was done in the interests of fairness, openness and honesty. I simultaneously want to rage-vomit all over my laptop screen, and high-five the PR spokesman for the gargantuan balls he’s carting around in his pantaloons.

Madly, as if the Earth’s magnetic field should not be rent asunder by these ever-expanding gonads, he continues:

So in case there is even one Londoner who has a problem with what he did, he will not use that account for the campaign and instead can be followed from the political front on @BackBoris2012.

Thus! Those complaining about the transgression are hysterical. Every single word of that sentence – “in case there is even one Londoner” – is steeped in the hegemony of the message. Because to suggest that anyone would have a problem with Johnson’s actions would shatter the very pillars of common sense that stop total pandemonium from reigning over London.

Bra-fucking-vo Boris and your Spokesboris. Long may your testes provide the needy with much-needed shelter from the blazing hot equatorial sun.

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About the author
James Anthony is a writer, editor, and social media consultant.
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